Therapy

There are many things children have to adjust to—schools, siblings, rules at home, the added complexity of separated, divorced or fighting parents.  Children and adolescents have many powerful feelings and often more limited control of their responses.  Often a listening therapist who can validate what a child is experiencing is a helpful step on the road to compliance and adaptive behavior.  Adolescents are experimenting with their identity and their boundaries.  Social anxiety can be a significant pressure for this age group with attendant depression, anger, and inappropriate self-medication.  Cognitive-behavioral therapy along with stress management strategies is often useful with this age group.

Adult therapy is sometimes more problem focused—anger, sadness, problems in relationship or work are often the issues that bring adults to therapy.  Learning in a supportive atmosphere what thoughts, attitudes and values contribute to a problem is often the first step in redefining what is possible.  Successful therapy supports a person in redefining the problems they experience, and it often redefines the wherewithal they have to address those problems.  The public setting of therapy where thoughts are expressed and feelings named and experienced contribute to an atmosphere where what was impossible becomes possible.  Change can happen with time, reflection and courage.

Relationships are often challenging because one or both partners fear that they will never get what they really want.  There is often hurt, abandonment and betrayal.  Some relationships have become abusive and in need of repair as a result of substance abuse and controlling behavior.  Typically each person in a relationship blames the other person for failure to be what they need them to be.  Complaints and criticism fail to persuade the other that they should change.  In my work with couples I seek to increase safety, along with the ability to truly listen, validate, and empathize with the needs and hopes of the other.  Knowing the other and being known by the other are essential conditions for the building of trust and the willingness to risk being vulnerable to one another.  

Anger management is often best addressed in groups, though it is possible to work individually.  Anger is a response to perceived injury or injustice.  A cognitive-behavioral orientation can help individuals learn how to reduce the incidence of getting angry in the first place, particularly when this is combined with stress management and relaxation techniques.  It can also help to structure appropriate responses to the anger by supporting assertive expression, effective communication, and respectful problem solving.

Group therapy provides increased opportunities for feedback about one’s experience in the presence of others.  It can be more of a real world environment where an individual both initiates and responds to the people in the group and the expectations they bring to those same people.  As a group facilitator, my role is to draw attention to the dynamics of group process, to support critical analysis, and to support taking steps to be the person they most want to be for themselves and for others.

Meditation on the breath has been an established technique in stress management for decades.  Based on the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, meditation techniques enhance attention while learning to minimize distraction.  Meditation on the breath supports the development of a recognizable seat of comfort that provides a respite from the experience of stress.  Meditation is done in small groups, and does not require yoga postures or spiritual inclination, although both may enhance your experience with meditation.  Meditation is portable.  You can easily learn the basic techniques in this setting, and take it with you for a lifetime if you want.